Former 2:24 marathoner, now in my late 40s and hoping to maximally flatten the curve of my slide into senescence and mediocrity • Magazine writer, book editor and author, and commentator on the sport of distance running since 1999 • Adviser and confidant of other perambulators • Paradoxical hater of exercise fanatics • Chihuahua whisperer Sentence-fragment impresario

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Adventures in courtroom lying, part 5: Kim Duclos really ought to vet her own stories

More than anything else, this revisiting of unpleasant events has underscored how easy it is to lie badly. Not knowing or forgetting important details about the physical environment you're describing tends to scuttle your story, as does sounding like a petulant fourth-grader with a Ritalin deficiency and having a lawyer who not only might have just walked out of the screenplay of My Cousin Vinny: Idiots Come to Boulder, but also obviously knows you're a lying and just wants to escape the agony of the proceedings.

Anyone have a beef in town with you, that you know of?



Tuesday, December 4, 2018

The glut of Olympic Trials qualifiers at the California International Marathon

At Sunday's California International Marathon in Sacramento, 100 women and 53 men achieved their respective qualifying times for the 2020 Olympic Trials -- 2:45:00 and 2:19:00 respectively. This was an amplified version of the already great results from the race in 2017, when 54 women and 38 men achieved these marks. (Note that there was significant overlap between the 2017 and 2018 races for both sexes, and some of these runners had already qualified for the Trials before doing it at CIM.) No matter what happens between now and the Trials in Atlanta in a little over a year, CIM will account for a vastly disproportionate number of qualifiers.

Whenever something like this happens, because it's a statistical outlier of an event, people are quick to look for course-driven factors rather than the whole picture when looking for "the" cause for the anomaly. As a result, a lot of people appear inclined to chalk up the times at CIM to an unduly fast layout. This is exceptionally short-sighted.

Saturday, December 1, 2018

A month's work in seven days

Or more realistically, ten days' worth of work spread out over thirty days.

I didn't miss a day of running in November, those with knowledge of Strava say. Yet according to sources deep within the ass administration, my mileage total for the month was less than one of my average weeks in 2002. Individuals with first-hand knowledge of the situation, speaking on conditions of anonymity so they could discuss the matter candidly, agree that no one gives a shit.

I like to periodically look back on my 2002 training year to assess what was good and bad about it, because there was a lot of both and almost all of the variation was attributable to easily identified human factors -- not always the case in this sport energetic hobby. I went into that year in crappy shape after a shitty 2001 fall I largely spent watching incessant 9/11 coverage while slack-faced drunk in front of the television.

I spent the last part of November and of most December in New Mexico getting my mileage up from about 4.7 miles a week to about 100, and for a variety of reasons, I became a one-dimensional mileage machine for the entire winter. I knew I was tired, but I wasn't getting hurt or sick and could plausibly tell myself that I would start speed sessions in a few days or the following week. This basically never materialized and the entire winter and early spring was just an unending stretch of frustrations, which I responded to by punching myself in the metaphorical crotch and doubling down on my Forrest Gump training model, right down to the blithe lack of comprehension of any greater picture. I was able to rally for the Boston Marathon, and then the next six months or so were up and down as I moved to Virginia and spent a month or so in North Carolina along the way.

2002 was the only year in which I raced three marathons, and the only one in which I ducked under 2:30:00 twice. After I ran 2:27:31 at Rocket City in December off what remained almost pure base-type training, I was set up for a decent 2003.