Former 2:24 marathoner, now in my late 40s and hoping to maximally flatten the curve of my slide into senescence and mediocrity • Magazine writer, book editor and author, and commentator on the sport of distance running since 1999 • Adviser and confidant of other perambulators • Paradoxical hater of exercise fanatics • Chihuahua whisperer Sentence-fragment impresario

Monday, April 9, 2018

This week in Steve McConkey: "The end is imminent, so fund my eventual trips to Iowa"

The raging anti-gay Evangelical garbage-stream called Steve McConkey continually erupts with dire, self-contradictory posts that would make no sense at all but for one unlikely but undeniable fact: The people in his target audience are even dumber and more deluded than he is, and Steve wants not only their approval but their money. That PayPal donation button is by far the most important thing on his website, because without a "ministry" or his family to support him, Steve McConkey would have to actually have to support himself through something resembling honest labor.

First, let me emphasize my immovable and eminently justifiable position that any self-described Christian who supports Donald Trump has, incontrovertibly and by definition, given away the game and can be derided as a joke and charlatan with restraint limited only by the mercy of the critic (and these days I possess little). This is not because I can't stand Trump myself, although that's true and has been ever since his vaginiform grimace first washed up on television in the 1980s. It's because I understand that supporting Trump as a Christian is a logically untenable position, case closed, full stop, et cetera. It's akin to agitating for women's rights while simultaneously arguing that rape should be reclassified from a felony to a low-level misdemeanor, or going on television and gravely telling America's young athletes to stay off steroids while wearing a T-shirt that says BODY BY DECA-DURABOLIN. It would be precisely that bad were it not in fact far worse.

During the week, Steve, as usual, used his Facebook account as a platform for lying, claiming he was involved with Eastern religions before becoming a Christian. He told a local reporter a few years ago that he "grew up nominally Catholic, but fully 'received the Lord' in 1976 after a dark period of drugs and alcohol," so he appears to have only recently decided to have adopted and then discarded something akin to Buddhism back in his drinking and drugging days.


Shortly before this came Steve's weekly assurance that his crap is "worldwide," because it's on the Internet.


Never mind the laughable claim about taking Bible verses out of context or the futility of a functionally illiterate gasbag trying to combat the growing enterprise of mindfulness meditation from his Facebook account, and ask yourself this: If prayer were efficacious, why would anyone have to pray to protect it? Why would anyone ever feel the compulsion to pray for prayer?

Yet here we are, living in a world of chittering idiots who not only fail to even ask such questions, but rally uncontrollably behind senselessness of the sort McConkey casts forth. Praying for stuff to happen has never worked, but this goofball is imploring people to pray for prayer itself.

I'll skip past a lot of other stuff to the most recent posts as of Monday afternoon, because these highlight the fact that Steve McConkey, although a legitimate homophobe in the extreme and suffering from some sort of serious cognitive and psychosocial deficits, is above all a grifter. He says he earned a master's degree in public health in 1981 (I question this) but he has apparently never worked in the 37 years since. Instead, he asks for donations, and he predicates this on convincing his mob of decerebrates that the world is on the verge of exploding -- and if you read the comments to his posts, you'll see that his "friends" truly believe this.

Steve also engages in a very selective take on the Sodom and Gomorrah fable:


He conveniently omits the fact that in the story, Lot's two daughters took their father to a cave, got him drunk, and banged him while he was passed out, thereby getting themselves pregnant and later giving birth to sons. The "family values" crowd never seems to remember details like these.

This post was part of a mini-crescendo toward another "impending doom" intonation:


Again, please read the comments. They're almost unbelievable. Whoever is registering people like this to vote should be put on some kind of domestic-terrorist watch list.

But then comes a sudden turn:


So, despite the fact that we're all going to die unless everyone's ineffective-throughout-history prayers somehow manage to wipe out mindfulness mediation, communist nations, and other religions, Steve wants you to know he'll be at the next two national track and field championships, spreading his helpful messages to whatever gobs of human flesh are willing to stand there and listen to him (and this is not a pleasant exercise).

Evangelicals as a bloc are a daft, stunningly hypocritical bunch whose goals are indistinguishable from a putative ponderous shit-beast with a singular goal of making the world a far worse place for mentally intact human beings. Yes, arguing that evolution is untrue is laughably stupid. Yes, raging that homosexuality is an offense against a God whose existence is less likely than that of unicorns or ghosts is quintessential cherry-picking. Evangelicals have never been leading cognitive lights and only look increasingly absurd with the passage of time. But none of these intellectual transgressions, however extreme, are wildly inconsistent in and of themselves. Rallying behind a shitbird like Trump is an overt declaration that politics and personal prejudices matter and the entirely of the Bible simply doesn't.

For this reason alone, I have no compunction about ridiculing assholes like Steve McConkey in the strongest terms available. Most of my believer friends are Catholics or Unitarians or merely contemplative "God is good" sorts whose metaphysical ideas I disagree with, but whose ideas about Evangelicals largely mimic my own. They might not go as far as I do in wishing that fundies would all link arms and leap unpretentiously into a massive lake of molten lava, but that's a side issue, and in a less dramatic sense is already happening. Steve is right to panic about the future of Evangelical Christianity in the U.S. As people like him literally die off, a far more secular society will take their place. As nice as it would be to wave a magic wand and be rid of these fuckers in an instant, they will be largely gone soon enough.

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